I think we can all agree that motherhood is hard and life can bring out the worst in us. But culture would attest that if we have the right systems in place, we can always be the best version of ourselves. During an exercise program I recently worked out to, the trainer yelled, “Give me 30 minutes of your day, and
I promise you’ll be a better person, wife, husband, or parent!” We’re told we’re in the driver’s seat. If we try a little harder, we’ll finally gain control over our circumstances, and our worries, fears, and frustrations will melt away.
A mom’s answer to her hurting heart and emotional outbursts is simple: “You just need to get up earlier. Buy a better planner. Rotate your toys more often. Make a chore chart. Implement a housecleaning system. Find a personal assistant for your growing home-business. Use a think-it-over corner. Eat less sugar. Count to 20 and chant a calming mantra before you speak.”
And while there is value in staying organized, implementing wise systems, and making smart adjustments to your life, the subtle lie underneath taunts our hearts with false promises: Do this, and you’ll have control! Do that, and you’ll be a nicer mother!
So as moms, we wake up each day ready to do whatever it takes to put away the anger, stress, and worry—hoping to dig deep for patience and peace somewhere within. We believe if we can just get a little more control over our outside environment, we won’t feel so temperamental on the inside. We hang inspirational quotes on our letter board, start a new weekly meal-prep plan we saw on Instagram, and attempt a new discipline strategy we heard on a recent podcast.
But as the day wears on, each thing fails us. Our patience thins, our peace wears out, and we go through the common cycle of frustration, despair, and guilt. No matter what we implement or how much we muscle our emotions, we’re still a mess. Stressed out and out of control, we look for somewhere to throw the blame other than on ourselves. Doling out unfair punishments, justifying worry and anxiety, and living with regret for what we’ve just said, we’re unhappy with ourselves but not quite sure what else to change.
Sometimes in motherhood, we crave control and comfort so much we worship them. We chase all the things that might give us command over our home, husbands, and children, thinking that if we just find the magic ticket, motherhood will be easier and we’ll finally be peaceful, patient, and kind. We’ll finally
be the women we wish we were.
But no matter how much effort we put into it, we can’t seem to tame the dragon nature inside that roars for control and success.
What we need is a dragon slayer.
A New Creation
Many of us fear that our negative heart attitudes reflect who we truly are on the inside. We name ourselves: “I am the angry mom, the worrier, the stressed-out mom… ” And without Christ, it’s true. We are all sinners on a path to self-destruction.
Our hearts truly are crooked and erratic, fickle about satisfaction, and headstrong against repentance. We have temperamental hearts with a natural bent toward negative attitudes.
But if you are a believer, you have union with Christ. [9] This means Christ is in you. It is not Christ plus you, or Christ and then you, or Christ and not you. It is Christ in you, which means you have everything your warrior, dragon-slaying hero has. When you are stripped bare, when you peel away everything you
believe defines you—your hobbies, dreams, skill sets, personality, weaknesses, and sinful tendencies who are you? If you are in Christ, then it is not the sinful, uncontrollable woman you fear who remains—it is Christ. It is our loving, kind, gracious, merciful Savior in you.
Through your faith in Jesus, you are a new creation in Christ, which means by the power of the Holy Spirit, you can change. You no longer have to give in to temptations, fight for control in all areas of life, or give in to expressing every feeling you have. You are not a victim to your circumstances. Trust that because of Christ’s work on the cross, you can grow, improve, and be transformed to be more like him.
Mom, God has not left you to battle the dragon alone. Trust in the promises of God. Believe you are united with Christ. Exchange your worries, fears, and anger with the worship of our good and loving Father who sent his Son to battle on your behalf. Remember that nothing is meaningless in the Christian life. God uses wayward circumstances to reveal the waywardness of our hearts. Each day, as you feel the pressure mounting, the accusations accumulating, the temptations luring, look to Christ to be all you need. He is strong where you are weak. He is perfect where you fail. He is your fullness when you are empty.
He slays the dragon when you need a hero.
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[9] John 17:23; 1 Corinthians 1:30; 2 Corinthians 13:5.
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Risen Motherhood, by Emily A. Jensen and Laura Wifler, takes you through the redemptive story and reveals how closely the gospel connects with everyday motherhood. This read will change the way you understand and apply the gospel to common issues moms face so you can connect your Sunday morning faith to the Monday morning tantrum.
Discover how the gospel can bring hope, freedom, and joy in every area of motherhood here.
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