Do you doubt yourself as a mother? Your ability to choose rightly? To stay the course? To set a righteous example for the kiddos you love more than life itself? To avoid shooting yourself in the foot?
Well, join the club of Christian Sisters Who Make Our Lives Hard with Poor Life Choices but Also Know God’s Grace Is Sufficient for Our Sin (that would make one doozy of an acronym, I realize—I’ll work on it). Remember, we are new creations in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17), which means His power at work in us enables us to walk forward into better disciplines and godlier habits as we recognize and reject our old, fleshly routines.
Yes, hard is not the same thing as bad. But that’s no excuse to carry on with a stressful habit that is harming us, our families, and the peace of our homes. In fact, the best part about self-imposed hardship is the way it forces us to partake of the goodness of the gospel on a daily basis.
After all, “Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means!” (Romans 6:1-2 ɴɪᴠ, emphasis added).
But shall we go on repenting and growing when we do get it wrong? Absolutely!
Putting It Into Practice
I know some of you are just itching to fire off an email asking me for specific ways to avoid heaping trouble on our own heads, so I thought I’d include a short list here of wisdom I’ve gleaned from others and insights the Lord has revealed to me over the last almost eighteen years of motherhood—simple
(but not always easy) ways to avoid wandering into the thorniest trenches of motherhood.
- Bible-reading. I know. So basic. Except, are you doing it consistently and with an attitude of learning rather than checking a box? If you need more structure, I suggest the inductive Bible study
method, the NLT One Year Chronological Bible Creative Expressions (after being an ESV or NASB girl most of my life, I have been surprised by how much I’ve loved this translation with the journaling
component), or The Bible Recap (in either print or podcast form, or both). - Accountability. Don’t feel like you can get to bed earlier, memorize Scripture, or kick an anger habit on your own? You’d be amazed at the motivation and encouragement afforded by a good friend who’s willing to pray for and hold you accountable to do the things you say you will.
- Handwritten lists. Sure, it’s low-tech, but there’s something incredibly propelling (and satisfying) about physically crossing through an item on a to-do list—even if you write the task after it’s already done! Plus, it’s always better to write things down than to have a jumble of “probably shoulds” rattling around in your brain.
- Timers, alarms, reminders. We live in an era of constantly evolving technology. We can literally yell from across the room, “Alexa, remind me to water the plants at 3:00 p.m.” and she will. We can set a fifteen-minute cleaning timer and race to see how much we can get done before it goes off (you’ll probably shock yourself by how much you accomplish).
- Cleaning schedules. I’m always a little surprised by questions like “How do you know what day you should vacuum your rugs?” Besides the obvious answer of “When they’re dirty,” the easiest way to get to a task is to put it on a regular rotation for a particular day of the week. If Monday is “bathroom day,” then you know you’ll get a clean toilet at least once a week. (If you don’t know when you should clean what, resources like flylady.net or cleanmama.com have free tools to help get you organized.)
- Decent bedtimes! I know we already mentioned this, but sleep really is our friend.
- Wisdom—starting with God, then your husband, then a trusted counselor. Too often, I see this order completely reversed. Someone will ask me for advice in a direct message before she’s prayed about it, talked to her own husband, or sought out godly counsel from a face-to-face source.
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All suffering is hard, but not all hard things are suffering.
Hard Is Not the Same Thing as Bad, by Abbie Halberstadt, helps women see how God can use the everyday trials of motherhood to radically transform how they view hardship and grow them to become more like Jesus. Filled with scriptural wisdom and lessons learned from her own challenges as a mama of ten, Abbie shares how to view your struggles as a necessary part of God’s plan for your spiritual growth. In turn, you will discover supernatural peace and purpose, even when you’re down in the deepest trenches of motherhood.
Learn more about the book and how to purchase here.
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