There is nothing inherently wrong with making plans (as long as we hold them loosely), nothing wrong with praying for a specific outcome. We need outlets and relief. We need breaks from our children, however brief. But we must remember that no one knows this better than our loving heavenly Father, who never takes even the tiniest break from us. He is the Lord our God who will never leave us or forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:6). And it is only when we rest in the knowledge that His ways are always good (notice I did not say easy) that we are able to truly revel in His provision.
That knowledge is what I rested in when we discovered that our sixth baby (the pregnancy immediately following Evy and Nola’s) was also a twin, and when we discovered we had lost his brother to vanishing twin syndrome at eight weeks. And it was the same knowledge that upheld me when I found out I was expecting twins again, identical boys this time, at thirty-seven years old.
If you started reading this hoping that I would tell you exactly what kind of mother you should be, I’m afraid I’m going to disappoint you. I don’t know your personality, your strengths and weaknesses, your hopes and dreams, your genetics, your background—none of it. But I know the God who does. The God who placed you in the position in which you find yourself for “just such a time as this.” The God who prompted you to open and read this.
And I know this: He will absolutely give you more than you can handle—of both joy and pain. He might pile on the trouble so heavily you feel you will suffocate beneath its weight (I’ve been there). Conversely, He might slather you so thickly with joys and yesses that you’re fairly dripping with a goodness you know you don’t deserve and could never repay (been there too). Both are blessings. Both are ways that He reveals His callings to us. Both require us to shuffle forward with tiny steps of faith and outstretched palms of gratitude.
If you desire to know God’s will for your life as a mother (or anything else), I encourage you to pray a really scary prayer: “Lord, show me what You have for me and then equip me to do it by Your power, even if it’s nothing like I imagined it would be.”
He has shown you, O mama, what is good and what the Lord requires of you. It’s in His Word. It’s in the daily seeking of Him through prayer and petition. It’s in the memorizing of Scripture and the constant application of it to our lives. It’s in the bottom wiping and the belly laughing, the surprise sonograms and the surly teenagers. It’s there, hidden in the mysterious hours of quiet while we nurse our babes, written plainly across the sunlit, wonder-filled faces of our story-rapt toddlers. Moment by moment, day by day, “precept upon precept, line upon line, line upon line, here a little, there a little” (Isaiah 28:10 ESV), we catch glimpses of the ways in which the Lord is molding us into His likeness.
There is no shortcut, and there is no generic formula. We must choose to trust in His goodness and be willing to let Him tear away at our rough shell until our true skin is revealed, vulnerable and pliable—and bearing the marks of His grace.
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Mama, you are worthy of the awesome responsibility God has given you.
M Is for Mama, by Abbie Halberstadt, offers advice, encouragement, and scripturally sound strategies seasoned with a little bit of humor to help you embrace the challenge of biblical motherhood and raise your children with love and wisdom.
Learn more about the book and how to purchase here.
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