When it comes to being the spiritual leader of my home, I like to think of myself less like an expert and more like a guide.
I love to be outside and to explore the outdoors. Because of my highly spontaneous personality, I often say to my kids, “Let’s go on an adventure!” We stuff a backpack full of snacks and head out to explore a trail we’ve never been to.
As we hike, I feel like it’s my job to point out all the amazing things happening around us. My kids like to move fast, and sometimes because of that, they miss the coolest parts of nature right beneath their feet. I’ll often stop them to observe a giant banana slug trying to cross the trail. Or point out a waterfall peeking through the trees. Or tell them to look up at the birds nesting in the forest.
I’m no expert in banana slugs, waterfalls, or birds. I’m simply pointing out what’s happening around them. In fact, I never feel the need to create amazing things when we’re out exploring. I just point my kids’ eyes toward the amazing things that are already there.
This is what spiritual leadership should look like in our homes. We are guides toward the things of God, not necessarily experts.
Let me give you some good news: You don’t have to create amazing things for your kids. Instead, point their eyes toward the amazing things God is already doing around them.
Are you willing to be a spiritual guide for your family? If so, slow down enough to see what he is doing around you. If you move too fast while hiking, you miss the banana slugs at your feet. And if you move too fast in life, you miss the little things God is doing in the lives of your wife and children. It’s easy for us to get into survival mode and simply power through our days. We spend long hours at work, feed the kids, make sure they are doing the right thing in school, keep the house clean, and then try to get them to bed. But if we rush through the day, we often miss what God is doing around us. A good guide slows down enough to see the little things that others might be missing. Sometimes this means you need to make sure your family slows down enough to have a meal together while you talk about the ways you see God working around you.
At dinner, I’ll often ask my family, “What did you see God do today?”
Sometimes that leads to simple things, like admiring the sunset or watching the birds in our backyard. But other times, it leads to conversations about having to learn forgiveness with neighborhood friends or trusting God to provide for our needs when Daddy wasn’t able to land a certain job at work.
At this moment, God is actively working in the lives of your wife and children. He is pursuing their hearts and turning them back to the way things were meant to be. He is working on their selfishness, their sin, their unbelief, their doubt, their fears, and their anxieties. He is taking all their brokenness and making it new. As a guide, you can point out the amazing work he is doing in them and make sure they don’t miss it.
Are you willing to be a lead learner when it comes to following Jesus? If so, grab your Bible and start reading it with your kids. You won’t understand everything, and they certainly won’t understand everything, but you can explore it together. There are tons of resources that can help you make sense of things. As you read, ask yourself, ‘What did I learn about God today, and how does that change the way I live?’ Once you answer that, simply spend the rest of the day, week, and month practicing together what it looks like to live out what you’ve learned.
My kids often ask me questions about God that I don’t know the answer to. It’s okay to say, “That’s a great question. I don’t really know the answer. Let’s open the Bible and see if we can find an answer together.”
You don’t have to be the expert. You are a guide and the lead learner.
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