“When the pieces seem too shattered to gather off the floor, when all that seems to matter is I don’t feel you anymore. No, I don’t feel you anymore. I need a reason to sing.” Reason to Sing – All Sons and Daughters
April is the month that always reflects the state of my heart. I live in the Midwest, in rural Indiana. Winters here can be cruel and unrelenting or mild and gloomy. Either way, by the time April rolls around, I can’t wait to see the sun and feel it’s warmth on my skin.
My soul often feels these dark dreary seasons too. Relationships, job stress, health and community can take a toll on how we feel. During these seasons, we can feel that the joy has been sapped from us and we are left feeling empty. Hopeless.
Don’t ignore these times of loss and emptiness. Don’t feel ashamed that you are not filled with the joy that often seems expected of us as believers. This is a natural part of who we are. These times of emptiness, coldness and aloneness. Don’t rush out of this emotion. Sit here for a minute before you get up and try again. Emptiness is not always a bad thing. Emptiness leaves room for hope to fill us to the brim.
In April I feel this emptiness, this poured out feeling that chills me to the bones. Then, something happens. I step outside early one morning and survey the chilly countryside to find that something has changed. The air smells of the softness of soil and the unfurling of leaves. Rays of sun burst through and I begin to feel their warmth on my face.
And so it is with my soul as well. It’s a hint of something soft, the melting of my heart, the whisper that I am not alone. God is right here. God is beside me and before me and beneath me and above me and even IN me. My chilly soul warms, and my heart feels full and I gulp in breaths of this hope filled air that surrounds me.
Do you not know?
Have you not heard?