Do you want to honor your marriage relationship and be faithful? Then prepare yourself ahead of time, because you will find other people attractive.
I know some of you are shaking your heads and saying, “I only find my husband attractive. No one else.” Please. There are over seven billion people on the planet. You think you’ll just be attracted to one person? I highly doubt that. Your spouse is not the last person you’ll find attractive. Just because we fall in love and get married does not mean we won’t notice a good looking person crossing our path. And some of those attractive people might even make our heart skip a beat. That, my friend, is called chemistry. It is not love.
There will always be others who catch our eye. We are humans, not robots. We notice gorgeous people. We notice well-built physiques. We notice dreamy eyes and adorable dimples. People we find attractive will be everywhere. But recognizing that and preparing for it ahead of time will help us deny our flesh when that first flirtatious comment or inappropriately long stare happens.
Doing what the sinful nature desires would be to vacate your marriage because you “finally found your soul mate” or because you may not find your spouse attractive anymore. But stopping and recognizing this is just one of many attractive or tempting people who will cross your path and staying committed to your spouse is doing the hard thing. Your flesh wants to indulge itself with this person. But God has called you to a higher standard and commands you to honor Him and your marriage vows. Do the hard thing and walk away.
Marriage is wonderful. It’s about love and romance and that tingly feeling you get when he walks right past you and gently touches your arm or when she walks into a room looking fabulous and you have a hard time concentrating on the conversation you were having. Yes, it’s all those things, and those things are fun and they feel good. But it’s mostly commitment. My husband and I have a healthy marriage and friendship now. We have chosen to honor our commitment to God and to each other by doing things that are difficult to do. But as we have done the hard things in life and made choices that honor God, we are drawn to keep working in that direction. When we do hard things that feel contrary to the flesh, we are usually doing the right things.
From Rebuilding a Marriage Better Than New by Cindy Beall
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