Anxious parents are not hard to spot. If they have young kids, they can be stressed and tired, concerned about germs and illness, ultra safety-conscious, and overly protective. If they have older kids, they might be worried about success in sports, academic achievement, and when to buy them a mobile phone.
I should know because I was—and still am—one of these anxious parents. My children are now grown, but when they were younger, I fit the above description pretty accurately. Just ask my kids how long I made them wear life vests at the lake.
For those of us who are part of the anxious parents club, the response to our worry is fairly predictable. We try to control as much of our children’s life as possible. We want to control their behavior, their social life, their grades. And it never stops.
Any attempt to maintain absolute control of our lives, and the lives of our kids, is just an attempt to take on the role that belongs only to God. God is the only one who is actually in control. That’s his job, not ours. And when we try to take control, we live a life of inevitable frustration and disappointment. We make lousy gods.
So, is there any hope for anxious parents who are tempted to try and take control? Yes! What we need is to move our attention onto the big picture principles that give us hope.
First, remember that God works through families. Not only did God create the family unit, but the Bible is filled with examples that a primary means God uses to spread the gospel through the world is by parents passing it down to their children.
When Paul writes to Timothy—his protégé in the ministry—he reminds Timothy that he learned the gospel from his mother Eunice and that she had learned the gospel from her mother Lois.
And this reality finds confirmation in sociological studies that have repeatedly shown that the single, most powerful influence on the religious lives of American teenagers is not their peers, or even social media. It’s their parents.
So, take hope. Your children are listening to you (and watching your example) more than you think.
Second, remember that parenting begins not with making sure your kids follow God but making sure you follow God. The most effective parents are ones who are committed to making sure their own spiritual life is healthy, trusting that their children will follow in their footsteps.
In Deut 6:6, God first tells parents, “These words that I command you today shall be on your heart,” and only then says, “you shall teach them diligently to your children.”
It’s similar to how flight attendants always instruct you to put on your own oxygen mask first before helping others. Why? Because if you are not breathing oxygen you’re no good to anyone else.
Third, and finally, don’t overlook the power of the basics. As anxious parents, sometimes we are convinced there’s some magical trick out there we just haven’t heard about yet that will make our parenting turn out exactly like we hoped.
But when we look for the easy fix, we are tempted to overlook the basic practices that are fundamental to the health of any family, such as involvement in a healthy church, praying together, and studying the Bible together. These may not be trendy or new, but they are time-tested and proven.
So find a regular time to pause, study God’s word, and pray together. It doesn’t have to be lengthy. It doesn’t have to be fancy. And it doesn’t even have to be particularly profound or compelling. The key to its impact is simply that it happens.
It may not seem like much, but consistent time in the word and prayer, over the course of many years, makes an enormous difference.
In the end, these are three great reasons why anxious parents can have hope. And hope, by definition, is placed in something outside of ourselves. For Christians, our hope is placed in God, his word, and his wisdom.
And that’s where it belongs. If we hope in ourselves as parents, then we will always be anxious. But if we hope in God, who is really in control, then we can be at peace.
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For Ordinary Families with Full Schedules
The Good News Family Devotional, by Michael Kruger and Melissa Kruger, helps busy parents engage their children with consistency and purpose. For each chapter in this flexible 52-week journey through Jesus’s life, you’ll read a devotion written specifically for moms and dads, preparing you for your family discussion while encouraging your own study of Scripture. You’ll also find specific questions for children of all ages, as well as a family application question and closing prayer.
Let your hearts be refreshed each day as you meditate on the life and ministry of Jesus together. Learn more about the book and how to purchase here.
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